70 year old man asks his wife, "Do you feel sad when you see me running behind young girls?"
Wife replied "No, not at all, even dogs chase cars but they can't drive it."
A young Chinese girl going on her 1st date and her mother warned her...
"1st he kisses your cheek; then he'll kiss your breasts, you'll enjoy; then he want to go on top. You must not allow it so as not to disgrace our family name, ok"
Next day, girl told Mom, "Everything happened exactly as you predicted. I didn't allow him to go on top so I went on top and disgraced his family."
A white couple had a black baby...
The husband doesn't believe that it's his baby.
Husband: Why the baby black?
Wife: You hot, I hot, baby burnt..!
Wife: Honey, what are you looking for?
Wife: Nothing? You have been reading our marriage certificate for an hour?
Husband: I was looking for the expiry date!
Boy: Mom, why am I black and you are white?
Mom: Listen son, considering all the crazy things I did years ago, you should be thankful that you are not barking!"