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Wednesday, 30 October 2013

Poor Guy


A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. 

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife, “Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.”

To which his wife responds, “He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!”  


Quote Of The Day: Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “None gives charity from what is good, for Allah only accepts what is good, but that the Merciful takes it with His right hand. Even if it is a date, it is nurtured in the hand of the Merciful until it becomes greater than a mountain, just as one of you nurtures his young horse or camel.”  Source: Sahih Muslim 1014  Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Imam Muslim

Tuesday, 8 October 2013

Not So Dumb

Two bored casino dealers were waiting at a craps table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.  

She said, “I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude.” 

With that she stripped from her neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, “Mama needs new clothes!” 

Then she hollered, “YES! YES! I WON! I WON!”  

She jumped up and down and hugged each of the dealers. With that she picked up all the money and clothes and quickly departed. The dealers just stared at each other dumbfounded.  

Finally, one of them asked, “What did she roll?” 

The other answered, “I thought you were watching!”  

Moral: Not all blondes are dumb, but most men are gullible.

Quote Of The Day: Anas Radi-Allahu 'anhu reported that Allah's Apostle (May Peace Be Upon Him) forbade that a person should drink while standing. Qatada reported: We said to him: What about eating? Thereupon he (Anas Radi-Allahu 'anhu) said: That is even worse and more detestable (abominable). Source: Sahih Muslim