Big Mouth

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, “I clocked you at 130 kph. sir.”  

The driver says, “Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 100, perhaps your radar needs calibrating.” 

Not looking up from her magazine the wife says sweetly, “Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.”  

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, “Can't you keep your mouth shut for once?” 

The wife smiles demurely and says, “You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.” 

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glares at his wife and says through clenched teeth, “Dammit woman, can't you keep your trap shut.” 

The officer frowns and says, “And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $100 fine.” 

The driver says, “Yeah, well you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.”  

The wife says, “Now dear you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.”  

As the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, “WHY DON'T YOU SHUT THE HELL UP?”  

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, “Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?”  

“Oh! heavens no, officer. Only when he's drunk.” 

Quote Of The Day: Mu’awiyah ibn Al-Qushayri reported: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, what are the rights of women over us?” The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “You should feed her when you eat, clothe her when you clothe yourself, do not strike her on the face, and do not rebuke her or separate from her except inside the house.”  Source: Sunan Abu Dawud 2142  Grade: Hasan (fair) according to An-Nawawi