A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says,' I clocked
you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'
The driver says, 'Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps
your radar gun needs calibrating. '
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly, dear
-- you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife
'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !! ?'
The wife smiles demurely and says, 'Well dear you should be thankful your
radardetector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher.'
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector
unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,
'Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'
The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your
seat belt, sir.
That's an automatic $75 fine.'
The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it
off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back
The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your
seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver
turns to his wife and barks, 'WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??'
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always
talk to you this way, Ma'am?'
(I love this part)
'Only when he's been drinking.!!'